Coupon Clipper

October 27, 2011
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by Kathy Miele

I was in the parking lot of the grocery store loading the last of my bags into the back of my car when my phone rang.

“Are you going to be coming home soon?” my husband, Steven asked as I dragged my now empty cart back to the front of the store.

“I’m glad you called,” I said. “I’m on my way home now with tons of bags to be unloaded. Can you get the boys to help me?”

“We’ll be ready!” Steven said. I could hear a hint of excitement in his voice at the prospect of so many bags of food coming in the house. Which made me feel a bit guilty how long it had been since I’d done the last major shopping trip.

“By the way, I saved 47 dollars with coupons!” I said proudly as I climbed in the car and started the engine.

“Wow!” That’s great! We’re here waiting for you!”

As I pulled in the driveway all three of the boys came out to help unload. Once the countertops were filled with bags the boys started pulling things out.

“We haven’t had these cookies in a long time,” Alex said as he tore open the package and handed one to Max.

“I had a coupon,” I answered.

“Exactly how many rolls of paper towels did you get?” Max asked as he emptied bag after bag of them.

“I had to get that many to save,” I explained. “It’s not like they go bad. We’ll use them.”

“I can tell you we have enough salsa for the rest of the year,” Steven remarked as he unloaded the four jars from his bag.

Commentary: An Absurd Diatribe

“The more you buy the more you save,” I said as I put away the six boxes of cereal into the cabinet. “It’s not like we don’t eat this stuff,” I reasoned. “Did I mention I saved over forty-seven dollars using the coupons for all of these?”

“I’m not arguing with you,” Steven said as he put away the dozen muffin and brownie mixes. “I’m just wondering what we’re going to have for dinner tonight.”

I looked around at all the empty bags lying on the floor, my kitchen cabinets were so full I could barely get them to close but realized I hadn’t gotten a thing for our dinner that night.

“OK, I just want to remind all of you once again how much money I saved on this trip.”

“Forty-seven dollars,” Steven said as all three of my guys looked at me. I swear I could hear their stomachs growling.

“So I thought we should take all that money I saved and treat ourselves to a pizza dinner!” I tried to sound like that was what I had planned all along.

“Sounds good to me!” Max said. “I’ll get the menu!”

“I’ll get the phone!” Alex said.

Steven watched at the boys happily went to place their order.

“You forgot to buy dinner, didn’t you?”

“Yup,” I admitted, “But there’s no way I’m going back to the store now.”

“I’m in the mood for pizza,” Steven said.

I smiled as I cleared the last of the bags off the countertop. “Me too.


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