Home for the Holidays

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Expert advice for students home for winter break

By Danielle Schipani
After spending most of the semester surrounded by friends and making their own rules, college students often find it difficult and sometimes stressful to come home for the holidays. They’re suddenly forced to abide by the rules of their parents. This can lead to some tension during their time home. However, there are ways for college students and parents to cope with this sudden change in atmosphere.
Spend time with your parents. After not seeing you for several months parents may want to catch up and spend some quality time with their child. It is important to keep this relationship intact. Quality time can be spent by shopping for the holidays together, going out to eat, or going to a movie. Sometimes there are even local events that may be fun to attend together. Regardless of what you do, spending quality time with family should help make up for lost time.
Keep your parents in the know. Andrew Lee, Psy.D., director of psychological services at Monmouth University, explains that objective and open conversations can help students readjust to home life. It is important to let parents know what you are up to so that they do not worry about your whereabouts while you are home.
Spend time with your siblings. If you don’t get to see one another frequently it may be the perfect time to bond again.
Relationships with siblings are important. The holidays are about coming together and you should make it a priority to spend time with them while you are home.
Parents: Be patient. Lee says that it is important for parents to remember, “that their son or daughter has had an entire semester of being ‘on their own’ and not having to abide by any set of rules, other than their own.” The person that comes home may not be the same person that left home a few months ago. College is a time when young adults grow and develop themselves. Lee says that it might take time for the student to readjust to life at home and that this is normal.
Find a balance. Parents may still be protective of their children, which could lead to some tension between both parties. Finding a balance is key to maintaining a happy holiday homecoming. This can be done by constant communication. Lee says that it is important for parents, “to have, and even encourage, direct discussions about the expectations that they have and how they differ from what the student might want or feel is reasonable. From there, you can figure out what changes are going to work for everyone.” This communication can help create a more comfortable environment for the holidays.
Two River Times intern Danielle Schipani attends Monmouth University and will be home for the holidays.