On Monday, May 30th, we will honor our fallen heroes who sacrificed their lives for our freedom.
Our son, Captain James Gurbisz, was killed by a roadside bomb on November 4, 2005. My wife, Helen, and I suffered the most traumatic event any parent can suffer: the death of your child.
Jim graduated from Monmouth Regional High School in 1998. He was inducted into the National Honor Society and was the president of the student council in his senior year. He was the captain of the football team and co-captain of the baseball team. At 15, he played on a Middletown-based AAU baseball team that won the state championship and went on to play in the national tournament.
He was heavily recruited by Ivy League Schools but chose West Point. He graduated in 2002 with a degree in mechanical engineering.
Jim was not just a son, he was a husband, a brother, a nephew, a cousin, and a friend. As we went through the ordeal of laying him to rest, we were amazed at the number of people Jim had touched during his lifetime.
The man they grieved was the person who treated everyone he met as an equal and would help anyone in need. We realized that our extended family did not only consist of blood relatives, but also those friends and acquaintances who cared about Jim. We were all suffering from the loss of a family member.
Helen and I were asked to co-chair a committee to design and build a monument honoring the Gold Star Families of New Jersey. We formed our committee and proceeded with our task.
The New Jersey Gold Star Family Monument was dedicated on September 27, 2015 at the New Jersey Vietnam Veterans’ Memorial in Holmdel, New Jersey. It was the culmination of a three-year effort that included fundraising, design and construction efforts.
The monument is dedicated to all the Gold Star Families who lost a loved one in service to our country in all our wars and conflicts. It was designed to be a tranquil place for family and friends to sit and reflect. The monument consists of an obelisk in the shape of a pentagon, granite pavers and two benches with statues created by Brian Hanlon of Toms River. The obelisk has engravings on each side of the pentagon depicting different aspects of the sorrow of a Gold Star Family. There is room on the benches to sit next to the statue of a young woman and a child or an older gentleman holding dog tags. The interpretation of the statues is left to the individual and his or her own experience. The Gold Star Family Monument has been described as a peaceful and emotional place.
The monument is also being used as an educational location for the thousands of school children who visit the Vietnam Memorial. The tour guides are educating students about what it means to be a Gold Star Family member. The unfortunate truth is that most of our youth do not know the meaning of the gold star or the sacrifices and sadness these families have endured as their loved one made the ultimate sacrifice for our country.
So this Memorial Day, honor our heroes who sacrificed their lives for our freedom and remember the families who know the true meaning of the day. Then, go enjoy your picnics and activities while keeping a place in your heart for those who cannot.
Ken and Helen Gurbisz
Eatontown
Gold Star Family
