The Jersey Shore has lost one of its most esteemed and beloved residents with the passing of Thomas Joseph Philburn – affectionately known as Tom, TJ, dad, uncle, brother, Captain and Poppop – May 9, 2024.
Tom was born on a crisp, wintery Thursday December day in 1954 in Middletown to Marion Hunt and William Philburn and lived most of his days in New Jersey. His life and legacy was deeply interwoven with the communities he loved and served in Monmouth and Ocean counties.
Tom’s early years were shared with his siblings Laura and Helen as a loving, kind and protective older brother. His journey began with the Boy Scouts and then St. James in Red Bank. He graduated from Red Bank Catholic High School in 1973, briefly becoming a lifeguard along the Jersey Shore. His thirst for adventure and sailing led him to become a Petty Officer in the U.S. Navy.
Tom ultimately received his degree from Stockton University. Before then, he attended the University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point, New Jersey City University and finally, Brookdale Community College, where he met the love of his life, Patti Coco. They married in 1983 at St. Michael’s on Ocean Avenue in Long Branch. It was shortly after marrying that Tom laid the foundation for what would become a distinguished career in law enforcement, starting in juvenile detention facilities and later retiring as captain in the Monmouth County Sheriff’s Department.
Tom and Patti embarked on a journey of love, partnership and family, welcoming two amazing daughters, Amanda in 1985 and Christina in 1986.
Tom’s life was rich with hobbies that reflected his love for nature, forestry, camping and family. His many passions included model trains, Seton Hall basketball games and golfing with his dad, family and friends, playing in various baseball leagues, Giants season tickets, his boat, the Green Bay Packers, talking about his Navy days, loving the New York Mets, Lakewood Blue Claws, and earlier days at the Trenton Thunder.
Tom also loved planting fruits and vegetables, gardening with his wife, displaying fireworks presentations at family holidays, slammin’ peanut butter, quoting his favorite movies, lots of inside jokes and of course, dying doing the thing he loved most consistently, cycling, all revealing the depth of his love for celebration, joy, excitement, service, God, country and family.
He volunteered at Forestburg Scout Reservation (he was a proud Eagle Scout), Meals on Wheels of Monmouth County, and frequently donated to organizations that he felt deeply connected to, including the FOP, Shriners Children Hospital, Jersey Shore Rescue Mission and Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Hospital.
But it was his role as a Poppop to Owen William and Abigail Grace that Tom cherished above all. Tom’s presence was a constant at his grandkid’s sporting events, recitals and any other significantly supportive family events.
Tom was predeceased by his parents, Marion and Bill, his sister Helen and, most recently, his wife of 41 years, Patti. Tom’s legacy is carried forward by his loving children, Amanda and son-in-law Bill Walsh and Christina and partner Barbara Bousquet; two adoring grandchildren, Owen and Abby; his very close sister Laura and brother-in-law Anthony Krug; his very close sister-in-law Frances Fuoco; his godchildren, Angela and Allison; nieces/nephews, cousins and many extended family, friends, neighbors and community members.
Memorial visitation with a service was held May 18 at Thompson Memorial Home, Red Bank. In a fitting tribute to a man who loved service and his family, in lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Shriner’s Children Hospital, CHOP, Jersey Shore Rescue Mission or Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Hospital.
Thomas Joseph Philburn was a man of integrity, a beacon of love for his family, and a gentleman of service. His legacy – and laugh – will continue to inspire and his memory will forever be etched in the hearts of those who knew and loved him.
The article originally appeared in the May 23 – 29, 2024 print edition of The Two River Times.
