E. Raymond Hapeman, better known as Ray, Army Captain, Dad or Papa, passed away at his home July 9, 2024, surrounded by his loved ones.
Ray was born June 11, 1938, in Jersey City. With a father in the U.S. Army, Ray and his brother Phil spent their childhood as “army brats,” growing up across the United States and abroad in Korea and France. This early experience of traveling shaped Ray into the curious and principled leader he became in the Army and beyond.
Following his 1956 West Orange High School graduation, Ray attended the United States Military Academy at West Point, graduating with the Class of 1960. After proudly completing Ranger and Airborne schools, he demonstrated unwavering dedication and commitment to his country during his seven years of service, stationed primarily in the U.S., Germany and Korea. Ray also earned an MBA from Rutgers in 1972.
Ray married his wife Joanmarie at West Point on Dec. 31, 1960. While serving abroad, he and his wife had three children, Eleanor, Teresa and Chris. Ray was honorably discharged from the Army with the hope of raising his family in one place, a goal he and Joanmarie achieved, having never changed their address once they settled in Middletown.
After the Army, Ray worked in global telecommunication standards, continuing to travel abroad and shape processes and procedures (two of his favorite things) for the community. In addition to being a devoted husband and father, he and Joanmarie traveled extensively throughout the world and fulfilled a bucket list achievement of visiting all 50 states.
In his spare time, Ray was a lifelong learner, always excited to find a new history fact, master the New York Times Sunday crossword or dominate in Trivial Pursuit. Always happy to find a reason to laugh, Ray was funny, and sometimes it was on purpose! He was a season ticket-holding Yankee fan who would never leave a game early. Ray stayed connected to the long gray line by tailgating at countless football games, volunteering, and serving as vice president of the West Point Society of New Jersey. An eloquent speaker, he also volunteered with his community at St. Mary’s Church in Middletown as a lector, Eucharistic Minister, CCD teacher, and Bible Study facilitator.
The best storyteller, Ray thrived at grandfatherhood. He is loved and missed by his eight grandchildren and three great-grandchildren who will forever share, with both tears and laughs, his many anecdotes and proverbs. Ray is also survived by his loving wife, their three children, a brother and a son-in-law, all of whom miss him dearly. Ray was predeceased by his parents Elmer and Jeanette.
A funeral Mass will be held at 10 a.m. Aug. 14 at Most Holy Trinity Catholic Chapel, The United States Military Academy, West Point, New York, followed immediately by a final salute at West Point Cemetery. For more information or to send condolences please visit pflegerfuneralhome.com.
In lieu of flowers, the family would appreciate memorial donations to RWJMS Department of Neurology, Movement Disorder Research Fund for Dr. Marco Russo’s research on understanding the complex etiologies of Parkinson’s and other neurodegenerative diseases. Donations can be made at rutgersfoundation.org/RayHapeman or by mail to Rutgers University Foundation, P.O. Box 193, New Brunswick, NJ 08903-0193. Please indicate that the gift is in memory of Ray Hapeman and in honor of Dr. Marco Russo.
The article originally appeared in the August 8 – 14, 2024 print edition of The Two River Times.
