A reporter and friend recalls the legacy of a Monmouth County political force
By Laura D.C. Kolnoski
COLTS NECK – I first met Lillian Burry the night she joined the Colts Neck Township Committee in the mid-1990s, making a grand entrance in one of her fabulous outfits. “This should be good,” my skeptical reporter’s brain thought.
I had no idea how good. In fact, it was great.
Expecting her to rubber-stamp whatever her male peers proposed, I was surprised by her frequent proclamations of, “I don’t agree with that,” and “I want to start something new.” Our post-meeting interactions further smashed my preconceptions: Here was an independent thinker of superior intelligence, strong ethics, a long agenda and a wicked sense of humor that belied her patrician exterior. Two acerbic Italians, we clicked.
Over the course of 53 years in public life, Lillian G. (Beneforti) Burry racked up a multitude of accomplishments. Highlights can be viewed in her obituary on page 22. For some 30 of those years, I literally and figuratively walked in her shadow, accumulating anecdotes that didn’t appear in hard news stories.
Lillian worked tirelessly to make a positive difference and help people. All people. Determined, tenacious and a master at mustering bipartisan support, she didn’t just reach across the aisle, she catapulted over it. I watched her twist more arms than a WWE wrestler, never giving up despite setbacks and those who stood in her way.
Hers was a career of glass ceiling firsts – founding member and president of the Matawan League of Women Voters and the first woman elected to the Matawan Borough Council. She served as Colts Neck mayor three times. After joining the Monmouth County Board of Chosen Freeholders (now County Commissioners), she became its first female director in 2008, an achievement she was especially proud of.
A passionate pioneer in open space and farmland preservation, she facilitated early wetlands purchases in Matawan and fought the Imperial Oil Company’s pollution of Burnt Fly Bog. In 1996, she created the Colts Neck Farmland & Open Space Preservation Committee, teaching others the ropes. She was a real estate agent who chose preservation over profit.
‘Want to Come Along?’
Too curious to refuse, I got to watch her visit the homes of legacy farmers and convince them to enter their beloved land into fledgling preservation efforts.
The former high school history teacher resurrected the defunct Colts Neck Historical Society into the proactive Historic Preservation Committee, persuading me to assist with publicity for popular house tours and special events. Perched upon a horse-drawn wagon next to a Revolutionary War reenactor, Lillian led the Historic Candlelight Tours she crafted and scripted. Her cajoling resulted in the committee procuring the Montrose Road one-room schoolhouse for $1. For decades, the committee opened it for “Country Christmas” and other celebrations.
She brought professional actors from Philadelphia to portray Benjamin Franklin, Betsy Ross and others at local schools, including a lively debate between Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton. For Monmouth County’s 325th Anniversary, she hosted “George Washington” and “Molly Pitcher” at a memorable freeholder meeting.
A champion of the equine industry, she organized the 2000 Millennium Drive Carriage Parade attended by the state’s prominent horsepersons. At the county level, she formed the “Save the Horse Committee,” relentlessly lobbying state officials for support.
Lillian was responsible for the township’s commemorative historic and architectural award plaques, along with its “Welcome to Colts Neck” road signs. She was mayor Sept. 11, 2001, when five residents died during the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center. She formed a committee, fund-raised, and called the late artist Jim Gary, a friend of hers and her husband Donald’s, to create a “meaningful” memorial. Three years later, she led a ceremony at town hall where a fountain featuring five butterflies surrounded by five benches marked with victims’ names was unveiled.
‘She’ll Never Get That Horse’
Vehicle accidents at Colts Neck’s Crine Road and Dutch Lane prompted neighbors to enlist Lillian for remediation. Her solution was a landscaped roundabout adorned by a brass horse; a proposal met with some derision. Walking through Huddy’s one night, I passed a table of locals just in time to hear the then-mayor say, “Lillian is never going to get that horse.” Seeing the majestic statue I call “Lily the Horse” always elicits a smile.
Before the current Fort Monmouth Economic Revitalization Authority (FM ERA) was formed, Lillian was appointed to its predecessor, the Fort Monmouth Economic Revitalization Planning Authority (FMERPA). She spent 10 years crafting the fort’s future, followed by another 10 helping implement that plan. Early on, she secured the fort’s gas station for the county public works department, along with the child education building, now the county’s Fort Monmouth Recreation Center.
She always said she could never have done it all without the ever-present support of Don, her husband of 70 years, a retired businessman and Coast Guard captain she affectionately called her chauffeur.
Don planted the seed for Tinton Falls’ Soldier On homeless veterans’ community when he showed his wife an article about the Massachusetts nonprofit. Lillian coalesced support, but it was a steep climb. Sites were identified, only to be discounted, and funding fell short. After the Seabrook development offered vacant land for $1, Lillian implored Trenton and Washington, D.C. for the rest. Don’s favorite story involves Lillian strong-arming “a guy on the phone” at the Department of the Army, only to discover she was yelling at the Secretary of the Army himself!
In 2021, the ribbon was cut on the Soldier On Gordon H. Mansfield Veterans Community, a 70-unit facility offering comprehensive services. Her name is on the bronze plaque out front. The women’s section was named The Lillian Burry Wing.
Carpooling home from a FMERA meeting one snowy night, we discussed how the Army’s lengthy bureaucratic approval processes impeded progress. “I have an idea,” she said. “What if the county bought the Army out?” She devised a financial plan that resulted in just that, and Fort Monmouth deals took off.
Lillian also gets credit for my 12 years of fort coverage. “Just come to one meeting,” she urged. “You’ll see how important this is.” She was right and became one of the five anonymous sources who confirmed Netflix’s interest in Fort Monmouth, helping me break that story in 2021.
Words to Live By
Lillian frequently quoted Edmund Burke, the 18th-century politician and philosopher: “In order for evil to flourish, all that is required is for good men to do nothing.”
The fashionista’s favorite line from Henry David Thoreau always got a laugh: “Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.”
She reveled in memories of the heady days when her father and uncle ran Manhattan’s famous, star-studded Delmonico’s Steak House.
Upon her 2023 retirement, Lillian said, “I have always held myself to the highest ethical standards, living by the principle espoused by Thomas Jefferson: ‘When a man assumes a public trust, he should consider himself public property.’ ”
“The deeds we do and the things we create endure beyond our hour upon the stage,” she wrote. “A well-lived public life signifies faith in the great continuum of civic duty, and a deep belief in the importance of liberty and democracy. Civic life is limited only by life itself.”
The article originally appeared in the September 4 – 10, 2025 print edition of The Two River Times.
