Seniors and children benefit when older generations stay involved
By Judy O’Gorman Alvarez
Whether grandparents are cooking and hugging on Sunday afternoons, grandparenting from afar, offering weekly child care or, in some cases, raising their grandchildren, they can be a pivotal person in a youngster’s life.
Grandparents may go by different names – Grandma, Nana, Pop Pop, Abuelo – but they are the emotional anchors of a family, providing unconditional love, wisdom and stability. They serve as cultural bridges, instilling core values and offering children a profound sense of identity and history. Their involvement actively improves emotional well-being and social adjustment, leading to happier, healthier development across generations.
Linda Stolarz, LCSW, Ph.D., P.A., a psychotherapist in Colts Neck, counsels families and counts herself a proud grandma to three – plus one on the way.
The benefits to grandparents being involved – in whatever way they can – with their grandchildren are immeasurable, she noted.
“Kids can feel a sense of security and unconditional love from their grandparents,” Stolarz said. “Parents have expectations. They make demands of their children – making sure they’re toilet trained and do their homework and clean their rooms. Grandparents don’t care about any of that. They just want to love their grandchildren.”
According to Stolarz, it is a gift for a grandparent to be able to experience activities and hobbies with their grandchildren. “My grandmother was always in the kitchen cooking.” As a result, Stolarz said she loves cooking. “Because my grandmother included me.”
Having fun with little ones can be enjoyable but keeping the relationship steady as children grow into teens is just as important. “There’s a bond you’ve created based on unconditional love and teens need that,” she said. Especially when they may get into trouble, grandparents tend to defend the teens. “They can support them and be on their side in a way parents can’t be,” she said. “Parents have to have boundaries. Grandparents offer a special love that has no bounds.”
“And it’s reciprocal,” she pointed out. “Grandparents who have a relationship with their grandchildren are generally happier and less depressed,” Stolarz said.
The Mental Health Benefit
Modern seniors are spending a lot of time with their grandchildren, and much of that time is spent providing care for youngsters, which might be helping grandparents in some unique ways. According to the National Poll on Healthy Aging from the University of Michigan’s Institute for Healthcare Policy & Innovation, 8% of grandparents provide daily or near-daily care for their grandchildren. One in five grandparents reports providing care for one or more grandchildren at least once a week.
Though it can be a tall order for grandparents to look after their grandchildren, Mary Ellen Morelli (aka Nanny) provides childcare for two grandchildren four days a week while their mom works from home.
“It’s exhausting but I wouldn’t change it for a moment,” Morelli said. The time spent when they’re young is short and precious. Morelli has been part of her grandkids’ lives – knowing their likes and dislikes, what comforts them and what makes them smile.
The National Poll on Healthy Aging found that 72% of people with grandchildren indicated they hardly ever feel isolated, compared to 62% without grandchildren. The poll also found that 13% of seniors without grandchildren indicated their mental health was fair or poor, while just 9% of seniors with grandchildren characterized their mental health in that way.
Spending ample time with grandchildren may also help build stronger social and cultural connections between grandparents and their grandkids. The healthy aging poll found that slightly more than 6 in 10 grandparents indicated they shared at least one meal with a grandchild or grandchildren over the previous month, and nearly half indicated they had prepared food for them. In addition, 36% of grandparents indicated they had baked or cooked with their grandkids over the previous month. One researcher who worked with the team behind the poll noted that eating and cooking with grandchildren affords grandparents an opportunity to pass down knowledge and recipes to younger generations.
Legacy and Stability
“For our family, family traditions, family history and the thread of faith in the home is important for us,” said Elaine Athanasiou of Middletown. She and her husband (aka Nana and Papou) try to instill in their five grandchildren – and one on the way – a legacy. “It gives the children stability; the children have a base. It’s not just them and the parents. With grandparents, it makes life richer for the children, hearing the stories of the family history. And, of course, being able to spoil them. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”
As the children grow into teenage years and adulthood, Athanasiou says being connected to older generations is important. “Seeing the ties of family, the love that holds people together, it’s something they can hold on to,” she said. “It keeps them accountable in a way, being able to look at the lives of their grandparents and what they’ve endured and stayed together.”
For many grandparents, staying involved in their grandkids when they live far away can be a creative challenge. Daily, weekly or occasional texts, FaceTime calls or regular packages of goodies and activities are popular ways to stay engaged when you aren’t local.
One of Athanasiou’s daughters lives a two-hour drive away but the other daughter is on the West Coast, so the Athanasious spend a good deal of time traveling. In addition to frequency, she and her husband make the most of their visits. “We try to do memorable things with them,” she said. That has included taking all four children to cultural sites, the zoo, and to experience places they may not have encountered. “They love it when we bring them to a hibachi restaurant. They talk about it often,” Athanasiou said.
One big hit is another tasty tradition they’ve started: a birthday morning DoorDash delivery of donuts from Nana.
Whether you live around the corner or across the country, whether your grandchildren are toddlers or teens, keeping the connection open is paramount. “The greatest gift a grandparent can do is give of their time,” Stolarz said.
The article originally appeared in the July 23 – 29, 2026 print edition of The Two River Times.
