By Elizabeth Wulfhorst
With hectic work, academic and sports schedules, many families are lucky if they can eat dinner at the same time, let alone while sitting down together with plates and silverware. But two local women – kindred etiquette spirits – want to change that and, along the way, bring manners back to the table.
Peeka Tildesley and Somer Jefferiss met when Jefferiss, new to the business of etiquette, called Tildesley to introduce herself and discuss if the Peninsula was big enough for two etiquette ventures. Jefferiss had just completed a certification course, at the encouragement of her sister.
“She was so warm and welcoming,” Jefferiss said of Tildesley.
“Our personalities clicked,” said Tildesley, who very quickly suggested a collaboration.
Tildesley, the mother of two adult children who has lived in Monmouth County her entire life, owns and operates Politely Peeka Everyday Etiquette. She attended the American School of Protocol in Atlanta, Georgia, and teaches table manners, tech etiquette, social interaction skills and note writing to children of all ages, from Girl Scout troops to 20-something bankers in New York. Jefferiss, a lawyer and mother to three boys, ages 9, 12 and 14, now offers lessons through her business, Modern Manners Matter, holding three-session courses for children and parents alike. Jefferiss grew up in Middletown but returned to the area with her family from Alexandria, Virginia, during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Both women are certified etiquette consultants and said they want to start a “manners movement.”
Tildesley has wanted to write an etiquette book for some time, but “I just couldn’t get my act together,” she said, so instead, she suggested an etiquette placemat to Jefferiss when they spoke again this fall.
“That’s a really easy way to get this front and center in people’s minds and homes and kitchens and in use every day,” Jefferiss thought. The placemat is a daily visual reminder of the lessons learned in the etiquette classes.
But etiquette is “not about being super proper,” explained Jefferiss. “It’s about being comfortable in any situation.” They hope the placemat will help parents teach manners without being the “bad guy” who has to nag a child to put the phone away or take their elbows off the table.
Tildesley landed on the placemat idea after some of her classes last summer. “Every time I left teaching a class, I felt bad because the parents couldn’t follow up with what I taught,” she said. Tildesley wanted something tangible the children could take home to reinforce her lessons.
The original thought was to make the placement funny, a la the tongue-in-cheek “The Preppy Handbook” of the 1980s, Tildesley said. The two also discussed using more primary colors with a bent toward younger ages – “more childlike,” Tildesley explained. However, after working with Georgia-based artist Kearsley Lloyd Sweeney, a former area resident, the proposed product turned elegant, with an eye toward appealing to all ages and being welcomed at any table.
The mat features a lovely watercolor palette, indicative of the artist’s work. The front shows a traditional place setting layout, with flatware, dishes and glassware all represented. The back of the mat has plenty of etiquette information.
Some suggestions about what to include on the mat fell by the wayside during preproduction: “We didn’t put the wine glass on,” said Tildesley. “We wanted to” but thought family-friendly was better.
That may come in the next iteration as the women are contemplating a series if the initial Manners Mat sells well, like a wedding version, Tildesley said.
While many ideas were nixed, one thing they kept was the humor, thanks to the editing skills of Tildesley’s husband Arthur, who ensured the mat is anything but boring. The Manners Mat is a “family affair”: Jefferiss’ husband Pete handles the website.
The collaboration was fortuitous in many ways, not least of which is found in the women’s names. Their initials – “S” and “P” – are front and center on nearly every well-set table in the form of salt and pepper shakers.
The women are finding they didn’t even realize how much demand there could be for this type of product. “We didn’t even know our target market,” Jefferiss said. They are finding men, older women and teens are all interested in returning manners to the table.
And even if you feel your manners are already impeccable, Jefferiss insists you will find a little tidbit of information on the placemat you didn’t know.
Tildesley and Jefferiss are learning about developing and marketing a product as they go and have confidence others will see the long-term benefit in their simple, elegant placemat. So far, the feedback has been “overwhelming,” Jefferiss said. Through social media and word-of-mouth they are selling fast. Recently a store owner in Illinois reached out via Facebook to order 25 for her shop and they are working to have Barnes and Noble carry the placemat in its stores.
The Manners Mat currently retails for $20. It is BPA-free, nontoxic and wipeable. The duo held a pop-up event in December at River Road Books to introduce the product. It is now available locally at By George Baby in Fair Haven and can be purchased online at sp-etiquette.square.site. Local delivery is free, or shipping is $5.
“You really notice when someone has great manners, and you really notice when somebody doesn’t,” Tildesley said. She and Jefferiss hope their product can be the reason for the former.
The article originally appeared in the February 6 – 12, 2025 print edition of The Two River Times.
