By Eli Rallo
Common sense warns against talking to strangers, so much so that it’s one of the baselevel lessons our parents teach us from an early age: Don’t talk to strangers.
I’ve always been (cautiously, of course) a huge talk-to-strangers kind of person. I revel in moments of shared understanding between two people who don’t know one another. I talk to strangers in coffee shops, at the grocery store checkout line, at the theater, in lecture halls and at parties. The serendipity of a compliment by someone you’ve never seen before (and will probably never see again) or a moment of shared comedy or grace between pairs of unknown eyes is a seemingly insignificant trifle that I hold to high importance. I thrive on the simplicity and radiance in unanticipated human connection – a proffered umbrella on the street during a rainstorm, an unexpected conversation at a random restaurant far from home.
It is likely that I didn’t quite realize to what level talking to strangers was a part of my life until we all sheltered in place, quarantined and counting the days bereft of unknown human contact. Quarantine has meant an astronomical amount of time spent in our homes with our families and significant others and roommates and very little contact outside of those we know well. The idea of engaging with acquaintances and friends right now seems taboo and illicit – because it is – making the idea of meeting or even talking to strangers unimaginable. When we do venture out – be it for Trader Joe’s for shampoo or takeout food – we’re keeping a cautious, calculated distance between our own shopping cart and those of the individuals we don’t know. Not only that, but our faces are shielded by makeshift masks and bandanas. From 6 feet away, we can’t have a comfortable conversation.
We aren’t meant to talk to strangers right now. We’re mandated to keep distance even when walking outside.
But the question has loomed in my mind nonetheless: will it ever be customary or normal to talk to strangers again?
There has been much written regarding the changes singles will experience within the world of dating because of the COVID-19 crisis. For singles who were in the habit of meeting other singles at bars and restaurants, or even online dating platforms, their customary dating habits have become impossible. The idea of meeting someone unknown and spending time with them has all but dissolved in the past weeks. Dr. Anthony Fauci has even been cited saying Americans should never shake hands again, a small consideration amongst much larger changes, but a major social shift regardless.
Of course the social impact of the COVID-19 crisis will be much larger than just a lack of handshakes and hugs, but these minor social cues will join the ranks of many other interactive circumstances that could be forever changed.
I disdain the phrase “when this is all over” because I struggle to understand if it will ever truly be over. When a crisis of this magnitude occurs, our world is in the habit of reshaping and molding around it. Furthermore, human beings haven’t endured a global pandemic of this magnitude during our lifetime, making it near impossible to predict the outcome and the lingering effects of the coronavirus outbreak on our futures.
Will we ever have full lecture halls?
Will we have to wear masks every time we go to the grocery store?
Will we ever sit side by side with strangers in a movie or Broadway theater?
Will we fill bars to capacity and return home stained in both our own and other people’s beer and sweat? Our health and safety are of primary importance, but I wonder about how our human need to connect could forever be changed.
We’re social beings; we’re motivated by the idea of spending time with those we know and know well, but moreover, we’re attracted to the idea of the unknown, of going out and meeting someone we wouldn’t have otherwise, of making an online connection that comes to fruition in face-to-face dinner dating and hand-holding. Not only will we most likely be urged to keep social distance, wear our face masks and practice safe social activities, it is likely that fear will drive us to fear unknown human contact.
The impact will be felt by everyone – retail, the restaurant industry, unknown romantic prospects, entertainment, music and theater industries, as well as students in classrooms. The weight of this pandemic will hang to the threads of our lives for years to come. But just as we are social beings, we are adaptable beings.
I’ve noticed, as a byproduct of our necessary precautions: the way we elevate our voices through the fabric of our masks to suggest an elated mood when we come in contact with an essential worker, the way we emote with our eyes to strangers, recognizing the importance of strong eye contact. We’ve begun to utilize social media for its engaging positives; people are getting married and celebrating graduations and birthdays via Zoom and FaceTime when circumstances prohibit in-person gatherings.
Times are different and our world is experiencing changes unimaginable to even scientists and medical professionals, but the human spirit has endured in the past, prioritizing connection, conversation and tangible manifestations of humanity to pull ourselves out of difficult circumstances. We will endure again.
Eli Rallo of Fair Haven, a 2020 graduate of the University of Michigan, will begin studies at the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism in the fall.
The article originally appeared in the May 28 – June 3, 2020 print edition of The Two River Times.
