On June 25, 2023, Assunta “Sue” Vaccarelli of Red Bank was reunited with her beloved husband of 68 years, Anthony “Tony” Vaccarelli. She spent the last days of her century-long life surrounded and embraced by the love of her family.
Sue was brought into this world by Celeste and James Vaccaro and spent most of her early years growing up in Allenhurst where her family resided after moving from Asbury Park. She enjoyed being raised in a full household of four brothers (Al, Fred, Tony and Jim Vaccaro) and three sisters (Rita Trebino, Mary Francese and Fanny O’Toole) and remained close to them all throughout their lives and hers.
Her cousin Nancy was always looking for a “finder’s fee” for the ultimate matchmaking success of introducing her to Tony, the brother of Nancy’s husband at the time, Pat. And Tony, until the day he died, told Nancy any fee would be acceptable as marrying Sue was the best decision of his life. They were hopelessly in love and remained devoted to each other their entire lives. Many a late night, you’d find Tony in the kitchen emptying the dishwasher, not because Sue had asked him to, but as he often put it, “Because it makes me feel so good to know your Mom doesn’t have to do it in the morning.” And decades later, when Tony was diagnosed with a progressive disease, Sue stayed by his side caring for him at home until the day he died.
While finishing high school, one of her teachers kept prodding Sue to consider a college education as her next step, even though not many women at the time were thinking of careers outside of the home. While Sue had not thought of going to college, that teacher recognized what she was capable of and assisted her with the application process to get her there. Sue graduated with honors from New Jersey State Teachers College at Trenton (now The College of New Jersey) with a Bachelor of Science in elementary education and secured her first teaching job within the community where she grew up. She loved teaching and her students adored her.
After marrying Tony, when they decided to start a family, she focused on staying home to raise the kids. Once they all were in school, she did tutoring so she could be home to greet them after their school day. Every day she packed gourmet lunches for her children to bring to school and many times classmates sitting nearby would try to barter for their sandwiches (veal cutlet and pepper sandwiches on fresh Italian rolls as Tony was a bread baker – Vaccarelli’s Bakery).
There is so much more to say about this Renaissance woman. She was so ahead of her time in so many ways. She was a homemaker, wife and mother and executed all those roles with love and perfection and somehow still found time to fit in her Jack LaLanne workout or try a new recipe she found in Prevention Magazine for homemade granola. She was a self-taught seamstress who could transform a Vogue pattern into a high-end fashion statement that she wore beautifully. She was a great cook and baker whose recipes were often sought. Well into her 90s she continued to walk almost every day around the neighborhood blocks and continued to make daily runs to Foodtown to pick up fresh ingredients for the dinner she was planning to prepare that night.
She was an intelligent woman who remained sharp, well-read, and up-to-date on current events throughout her long life.
Sue’s friends were lifelong friends, old neighborhood friends who became forever friends and whose children and grandchildren continued to stay in touch, as to know Sue was to love Sue. Some of Sue’s closest friends predeceased her, including neighborhood friends Grace Costa, Ferlie Grayzel and Sally Johnson, as well as her college roommate Angie; others like Terry Ehlers she leaves behind.
Sue was predeceased by her parents, Celeste and James Vaccaro, her brothers, Al, Tony and Fred Vaccaro, and her sisters, Fanny O’Toole, Mary Francese and Rita Trebino. Her beloved “little” brother Jim Vaccaro of Wannamassa survives her, as does her brother-in-law James Vaccarelli of Shrewsbury, along with many nieces and nephews.
The rest of her surviving family includes her sons Tony (Mary) Vaccarelli and Richard Vaccarelli, and daughters, Marie and Patricia Vaccarelli. She also leaves behind her treasured grandchildren, Lisa (Amos) Huron and Michael (Rebecca) Vaccarelli, as well as her cherished great-grandchildren, Ruby and Clara Huron, and Tony and Hudson Vaccarelli.
Visitation was held June 30 at Thompson Memorial Home, Red Bank. A Mass of Christian Burial was held after the visitation at St. James Church, Red Bank. Burial followed at Mt. Olivet Cemetery, Middletown.
The article originally appeared in the July 6 – 12, 2023 print edition of The Two River Times.
