Christmas Chuckles with Monmouth Players

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By Mary Ann Bourbeau
If you’re tired of the same old Christmas shows, and appreciate wit, dry humor and a little non-political correctness, check out “The SantaLand Diaries” at Monmouth Players on Dec. 5, 6, 12 and 13.
The show is a one-man performance of a 1992 story written by humorist David Sedaris, chronicling his stint working in Macy’s as an elf in SantaLand. The show begins with the humiliating job application process and leads the audience on a journey through all of Sedaris’ experiences with various Santas, fellow elves, obnoxious parents and bratty children. Sedaris actually did a one-season stint as Crumpet the Elf, and was appalled by the insensitivity of many parents. In one instance, when a child named Riley was having a tantrum, the mother told him if he didn’t sit still, Santa would leave a lump of coal in his stocking. Crumpet interjected and told the child that’s not true – Santa doesn’t do that anymore. Now he comes to the house and steals things.
“I told Riley that if he doesn’t behave himself, Santa was going to take away his TV and all his electrical appliances and leave him in the dark,” Sedaris wrote. “He’s going to take your car and your furniture, and all of your towels and blankets, and leave you with nothing. All your appliances, Riley, including the refrigerator. Your food is going to spoil and smell bad. It is going to be so cold and dark where you are. You’re going to wish you never even heard the name Santa.”
Although it is true that Sedaris did spend a short tenure in leggings and an elf hat working for Santa, one can’t be quite sure how much of the story is true and how much has been exaggerated for comedy’s sake. Either way, it’s fun.
Director Lori Renick chose the show because she is a fan of Sedaris’ work.
“We saw him several times at the Count Basie Theatre and we fell in love with his material,” she said. “It’s a show I always wanted to do here. I love the dry, witty, matter-of-fact humor.”
Michael Randazza, 62, of Belmar stars as Crumpet the Elf, dressed in red and white candy cane leggings, a green velvet smock and a long stocking cap. Randazza works in IT sales by day, but has been acting in community theater since high school, spending the last three years almost exclusively at Monmouth Players.
“I love the group there,” he said. “They’re very talented and awesome people.”
Before taking this part, Randazza had never heard of Sedaris, but quickly studied up on the short stories written in his many books. “The SantaLand Diaries” is sprinkled with sarcasm and homosexual references, and amusing lines that describe the scene inside the Christmas wonderland: “22,000 people came to see Santa today, and not all of them were well-behaved. Today I witnessed fistfights and vomiting and magnificent tantrums.”
“I read the script and thought this is going to be hilarious,” Randazza said. “It’s definitely not your typical mushy Christmas play. I like how of f the wall it is.”
Many in the area know Sedaris from his numerous appearances at the Count Basie Theatre in Red Bank, at which he simply stands on stage and reads some of the humorous stories he has written. Randazza hopes to meet the expectations of diehard Sedaris fans that come to see “The Santaland Diaries.”
“David Sedaris can get by standing on stage and reading a monologue, but I don’t have that reputation,” he said. “Hopefully, I will bring some of the characters to life.”
Randazza has been working for weeks to memorize 25 pages of script. He warns that this is not a show for anyone under the age of 18.
“We debated changing some things that were not politically correct, but in the end, we decided not to change a thing,” he said. “I hope it makes people laugh and cringe a little bit, but mostly laugh. For those people who know David Sedaris’ work, I just want to do it justice.”
The shows are Dec. 5 and 12 at 8:15 p.m., and Dec. 6 and 13 at 2 p.m. at the Navesink Arts Center, 149 Monmouth Ave., Atlantic Highlands. Tickets are $15, which includes desserts, and can be purchased by visiting www.monmouthplayers.net.
Arts and entertainment writer Mary Ann Bourbeau can be reached at mbourbeau@tworivertimes.com. Follow her on Twitter @MaryAnnBourbeau