You could often hear Kathy Morgan Jeary say, “I can sleep when I’m dead!” which was her usual response to almost anyone who said to her “you must be tired.” On April 22, 2022, a beautiful spring day, with her favorite cherry tree in bloom, with her family by her side, she finally shut her eyes to take a well-deserved, uninterrupted nap. This quiet, peaceful scene was anything but reflective of this dynamic, loud and stunning woman who fought for years against each relentless health challenge she encountered. She was known for her fierce loyalty, her infectious machinegun-like laugh and her unyielding will to live a life with no limitations on joy.
Kathleen Morgan Jeary was born Feb. 3, 1948 in Long Branch to Peter J. and Rita V. Morgan. Being the youngest of seven children, she joked that her parents were too tired to give her a middle name. She spent her childhood years on the Jersey Shore diving in the waves, riding her bike along Corlies Avenue and generally making mischief with her siblings and lifelong friends. In seventh grade Kathy followed her sisters to Eden Hall School of the Sacred Heart in Torresdale, Pennsylvania, an all-girl boarding school. In 1963, when her parents moved to New York City, she was enrolled at the Convent of the Sacred Heart on 91st Street of Manhattan’s Upper East Side. This experience not only made its way into her heart, but it served as her future place of employment and where her children would also walk the halls and benefit from its Catholic education.
Kathy’s time at Marymount University in Virginia was something she often talked about because it was there, Dec. 2, 1967, that she went on a blind date with Michael, a man who would forever change her life. Their romance is what people write books about. After he graduated from Georgetown University they were married Aug. 2nd, 1969 at the Church of Nativity in Fair Haven. With Michael’s ROTC commission, the newlyweds then set off on an adventure of one dusty military base after the next until the two found themselves stationed in Amberg, Germany. While Michael patrolled the border of then Czechoslovakia and West Germany, Kathy kept busy trying to turn their Army-issued apartment into a place suitable for a cocktail party. Eventually, her husband was called to serve in Vietnam and Kathy returned to New Jersey to await his return.
With Michael back from the war, and now a new mother of a baby girl, Kathy and her growing family eventually moved to the Upper West Side of Manhattan. She soon found herself walking the halls of her alma mater as alumnae director and, after a few years, admissions director. It was through Sacred Heart that Kathy really began to inspire those around her. She believed in the power of education, an all-girl education, to help women find confidence, strength and their unique voice to address the world. She made sure this education was available to all women, no matter their economic background. Now with two daughters at Sacred Heart, she served as a role model not only to them but the countless number of women who came to her for advice and guidance.
Life with Michael eventually led her to a stint in San Francisco driving with the convertible top down all around that mountainous city, then back to the Big Apple and eventually to a move that brought her back to the Jersey Shore. It was there where she focused on building her dream homes, enjoying nights out with her lovely friends and family and being with her girls, who both returned to the area to raise their own families. This family unit was a product of her intense unconditional love. Kathy’s loves became their loves, like the countless days and nights at the Sea Bright Beach Club, cocktails on her porch, ice cream runs to Crazees with her grandchildren and other “Kathy routines.” She excelled at being a grandmother. Gammy, as they called her, was obsessed with her Littles. She was a source of belly-aching giggles, words of encouragement, dance parties in the living room and endless hugs and kisses.
Maya Angelou once said, “I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” This quote is about resilience and Kathy was its walking personification. You cannot talk about Kathy without mentioning her encounters with health struggles. Kathy was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at the age of 26. This disease is debilitating and progressive, but it wasn’t until her daughters’ teenage years that they even became aware that their mother was facing something challenging. Kathy was incredibly athletic and active for most of her life, however this disease chipped away a bit of that every few years. First gone was skiing, then tennis and then golf. Eventually, a walk to the ocean’s edge or around the block was a feat. But every time the pieces fell, she picked them up, examined her new normal and put one foot in front of the other with dignity and beauty.
To know Kathy is to know that she could never mince a single word, and her brutal honesty was a hallmark of her personality. That honest outlook on life allowed her to handle her diagnosis of ovarian cancer in 2007 with the most courage and perspective one person can muster. Years of rounds of chemo, radiation, surgeries were all met with extreme determination and an abundance of energy. She was called the “Energizer Bunny,” a trooper, a fighter and anyone brave enough to say that to her face usually got a mouthful. She didn’t want to be seen as anything but herself: a wife, a friend, a sister, a mother, a Gammy.
She was such an inspiration to those facing hardships; she was an inspiration to those who had the privilege of being in her inner circle; she was an inspiration to people she just met. That inspiration was infectious, almost as much as her laugh. She will continue to inspire, even at rest.
Kathy is survived by her beloved husband, Michael J. Jeary; her daughters, Emily Ryan and Maggie Patry; her sons-in-law, Scott Ryan and Eric Patry; her grandchildren, Finnegan Ryan, Mackenzie Ryan and Teddy Patry; and countless “in-laws” and nieces and nephews whom she could never get enough of… and of course her attentive dog, Hunny.
For those who can join, Kathy’s Celebration of Life Mass will be held at 10:30 a.m. Wednesday, May 11 at the Church of the Nativity, 180 Ridge Road, Fair Haven, NJ 07704 with a luncheon reception to follow at the River House at Rumson Country Club, 163 Rumson Road, Rumson, NJ 07760.
The article originally appeared in the May 5 – 11, 2022 print edition of The Two River Times.
