Societal changes and shifting attitudes toward marriage have impacted gift-giving to those who are tying the knot
By Regina Molaro
Today’s couples are saying “I do” later in life. According to wedding website planner The Knot, the average age for marriage in the Northeast in 2023 was 32. By that age, many people are already established in their careers, so as couples, they are even picking up the tab for their weddings. Zola, an online wedding registry, planner and retailer, cited that one-third of couples are covering all their own wedding costs today.
HOW GIFT-GIVING HAS CHANGED
“Historically, couples registered for household items, like pots, pans, linens and home appliances, since marriage was traditionally seen as the beginning of setting up a household,” explained Kristen Koll, owner of The Local Line and a wedding coordinator in Red Bank. “Today, many couples already live together before marriage, often have their own homes or apartments, and don’t need those traditional gifts. This has led to a shift where couples look for ways to personalize their registries.”
With more couples choosing to pay for their own weddings or take on additional financial responsibility, it has become common for them to ask for donations to fund what is most meaningful to them. Think travel or buying a home.
“This way, guests can contribute in a way that aligns with the couple’s current needs and future goals, rather than sticking to the traditional notion of wedding gifts,” said Koll.
The financial burden of a wedding and rising real estate costs are also encouraging couples to seek alternative gift options. In the past few decades, this trend has grown significantly, particularly in response to societal changes and shifting attitudes toward marriage, gift-giving and personal finances.
The rise of online wedding registries and crowdfunding platforms in the early 2000s accelerated this shift. Websites such as Honeyfund, The Knot and Zola began offering couples the option to request monetary contributions.
“This enabled couples to tap into their shared desire for unique experiences such as honeymoon trips or practical goals such as saving for a home, rather than asking for more kitchenware that they may not even need,” said Kroll. “It’s a more flexible, modern approach that reflects the changing priorities and financial realities of many couples today.”
Those doing the gifting may also feel more connected to the couple by knowing they have helped further a long-term goal.
“For guests, it often feels more personal to contribute to a honeymoon fund or down payment than to pick out another set of towels,” Kroll said.
A SHARED EXPERIENCE
Justine Guido of Monmouth County is eagerly awaiting her May 2025 wedding. Rather than solely offering guests the ability to purchase gifts from her registry, she provided an option to donate to a house or honeymoon fund.
“While we truly appreciate any gift from our loved ones, we thought it was important to prioritize saving for our first home as we look forward to starting our family,” said Guido. “While many brides traditionally register for home items, I found myself uncertain how I would even design our space and browsing items online became overwhelming.”
“Couples are older and more established in their careers, so their wants and needs are different,” said Jackie Guido, Justine’s mother. “Many are well-traveled, dine out more, and are often in condos and apartments and don’t have the space for the many gifts that come along with the celebrations that lead up to the wedding.”
That is one of the reasons for the noticeable shift toward “experience” gifts such as trips, weekend getaways, adventure activities, and tickets to concerts or events. “People increasingly prefer these because they create lasting memories rather than accumulating material items,” said Kroll. “This is driven by the value of shared experiences, the rise of minimalism and anti-clutter mindsets, and a desire for personalized, meaningful gifts.”
Experience ideas, which range from spa days to cooking classes or wine tastings, also offer the opportunity for connection. Technology and social media have made the idea of travel and special experiences more accessible, amplifying the appeal of memorable moments.
A FEW GIFT IDEAS
The rise of unique and smaller wedding venues – in parks, other intimate outdoor settings or at Airbnbs – also encourages more personalized, meaningful gifts. With fewer guests and a more relaxed atmosphere, couples are opting for thoughtful, smaller gifts that often reflect their style or hobbies. This has led to creative options like curated gift boxes centered around the couple’s favorite pastimes, such as hiking, cycling or even watching sports.
Other notable trends include individualized gifts, group gifts for a larger purchase and donations to the couple’s favorite charity.
Popular custom gifts include home décor and more: Think engraved cutting boards or framed artwork, monogrammed kitchenware, personalized jewelry like necklaces or bracelets and other keepsakes such as photo frames or memory books. If the couple has requested money toward a honeymoon or other travel, customized travel gear like luggage tags or passport holders make a nice addition.
The article originally appeared in the February 13 – 19, 2025 print edition of The Two River Times.
