By Raven Rentas | rrentas@tworivertimes.com
MIDDLETOWN – Strangers turned to one another, embraced warmly and uttered the words, “I love you,” Feb. 13 at Brookdale Community College’s Warner Student Life Center. Not because of the approach of Valentine’s Day, but during an event about acceptance, diversity and mental health.
Chris Singleton, a former professional baseball player with the Chicago Cubs organization, visited Brookdale as part of its lecture series to deliver a message of love, forgiveness and racial reconciliation. Singleton’s mother, Sharonda Coleman-Singleton, was shot and killed along with eight others by white supremacist Dylann Roof in the 2015 Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church shooting in Charleston, South Carolina.
Since then Singleton has made it his mission to unite people of different races, religions and beliefs and one way he does that is by encouraging his audiences to stand up and show love to someone who doesn’t look like them.
“I remember when I first started doing these talks, I would go to different places where there would be a diverse crowd and I said to myself, ‘Man, how many people have never heard ‘I love you’ from somebody who doesn’t look like them?’ ” Singleton said.
He emphasizes hugging someone who looks different to increase diversity acceptance. “I think a simple hug from somebody who doesn’t look like you can change that person’s mind about people that look like you, forever,” Singleton said.
Singleton said he believes if Roof, who is white, had befriended a black person earlier in his life, he may not have committed the racially motivated murders.
The hugs serve another purpose as well.
Singleton said that after his mother’s death he was scared to openly discuss his struggles with mental health.
“I had these (Major League Baseball) teams looking at me and I figured if I stood up, raised my hand and told somebody, ‘Hey, I’m struggling with the fact that my mom was murdered,’ I figured a team would look at me and say, ‘You know what, Chris? You’re not mentally strong enough for us to draft,’ ” Singleton said.
After doing research, he learned that 70 percent of people who struggle with depression won’t admit it. Singleton said he was asking himself where all these people were when he finally reached a conclusion.
“They’re everywhere. They’re in our homes. They’re our spouses, our girlfriends, our boyfriends, our siblings, our professors, our students,” Singleton said. “They could be right next to you in this room.”
Singleton told the audience of college students, professors and members of the community that he would never have thought he could forgive his mom’s murderer. That is, until it happened. He credits his faith for giving him the strength to do so.
Less than 24 hours after his mother’s death, he began to share his message of unity and forgiveness, saying that love is stronger than hate.
“If he (Roof) was trying to start a race war, he didn’t accomplish that at all,” Singleton said in 2015. “He just brought us together even more than we were before.”
Singleton began public speaking engagements about a year and a half after his mother was killed and has been on a mission ever since. He believes the best way to combat racism is to teach people with love.
He fondly spoke of a woman he referred to as Grandma E, who has twin great-granddaughters: one is white, and one is black. Singleton said Grandma E taught them to call themselves chocolate and vanilla ice cream because she wanted them to know “although they are different on the outside, on the inside, where it counts, they’re just as sweet.”
Singleton explained that people seeing skin color is good, as long as they don’t judge each other for it.
“Nobody chooses their skin color so I would never hate you for yours and you should never hate me for mine,” Singleton said.
After he finished speaking, the crowd of about 50 gave him a standing ovation. Attendees thanked him, asked questions and shared personal experiences. The event was co-sponsored by BCC’s office of Student Life & Activities and the school’s Black Student Union.
Lauren Brutsman, the director of Student Life & Activities, and Diamond Bullock, the president of the Black Student Union, first heard Singleton speak at a conference and immediately wanted him to speak at Brookdale.
Bullock said she hopes the event will start a conversation among her peers about racial injustices and diversity. Both Bullock and Brutsman believe it will change their school and its students for the better.
“Even right now, it impacts them,” Brutsman said. “If you walk down the hallway with the students who were just in here, they’re still talking about it.”
While Singleton said most people tell him his message has transformed their way of thinking, he knows there are some who will never change. He said he doesn’t let this bring him down.
“I’m going to try to change hearts regardless,” Singleton said. “This is what I’m supposed to do with my life, and nobody is going to stop me.”
The article originally appeared in the February 20-26, 2020 print edition of The Two River Times.
