By Peeka Tildesley
The holiday season brings lots of socializing with family, friends and business associates. Learning good manners can help us navigate all kinds of settings. When you are polite and conduct yourself appropriately for the situation, people take notice. It can be as simple as greeting someone with a smile, making eye contact and showing respect and consideration toward others – both your elders and your juniors.
A great place to practice good manners – which have been passed down from generation to generation – is at the Thanksgiving table.
Greetings: When you arrive, make the effort to say hello to everyone. Whether it’s a hug or a handshake, it sets a warm, engaging tone. And please arrive on time.
Hostess gifts: It’s always nice to arrive with a small hostess gift. It doesn’t need to be much, it’s the thought that counts, and be sure to add a little note with it.
Compliments: The host(s) have cleaned, shopped, prepped, cooked and created a beautiful setting for you to enjoy. Compliment them – even if it’s your mom and dad help in any way.
Napkins: They have many uses! They are decorative, start the meal when the host picks theirs up and catch crumbs. They can also be used for a cough or sneeze (though never to blow your nose); keep your face clean; and signal you are away from your seat when placed on your chair or on the table to the left. When you are napkin to the left of your plate, never on your dirty plate.
Bread-Meal-Water: If you do not know which is your bread plate or water glass, just remember “BMW” – Bread, Meal, Water – from left to right.
Silverware: Use your silverware starting from the outside and moving inward toward your plate. The host has set the table with the utensils needed for your meal. Never place dirty utensils on the table; they always belong on your plate.
Fun Fact: When setting the table, place your knife with the cutting edgeoward the plate. If the sharp blade faces your dinner partner that means you are challenging them to a duel!
How to pass: Pass condiments and food to the right for one complete rotation around the table, then you can pass either way. When passing an item with a handle, turn the handle toward the person receiving it.
Serving: If you are enlisted to help serve, do so from the left and clear from the right.
No electronics: Please hide your electronic devices. If you need to check them, do it discreetly and make sure they are on silent mode.
Personal items: When you are seated, do not place any personal items on the table, such as glasses, keys, purse or cellphone. Please don’t brush your hair or apply lipstick at the table. And absolutely no hats!
Patience: Wait until everyone is served and the host picks up their silverware to begin eating. Exception – if it is a big table and the host asks you to begin, then it’s OK to start.
Posture: Sit up straight – no slouching, please. If someone comes over to your table whom you have not yet greeted, stand up to say hello.
Condiments: Use the knife or spoon from the serving dish to place condiments (butter, sauces, etc.) on your plate, then use your own knife or spoon to spread the condiments.
Elbows: rest your elbows on the table, do it only between courses when there is no plate in front of you.
Don’t eat like a caveman: You may be hungry and the food may be delicious, but chew with your mouth closed and never talk with food in your mouth. Even though it is “Gobble Day,” don’t gobble your food – pace yourself. Take a moment to taste and enjoy your food.
Awkward moments: If you need to remove something from your mouth, cover your mouth with your napkin and discreetly remove it.
Be a conversationalist: Engage in convertry to include others.
Polite is always right: Say “Please” and “Thank you” often.
These helpful tips will enable your time together as a family to be enjoyable and memorable. And don’t forget that handwritten thank you note!
For more everyday etiquette tips, visit politelypeeka.com.
The article originally appeared in the November 16 – November 21, 2023 print edition of The Two River Times.
