Christin Saumure of Tinton Falls adopted 4-year-old Micah at the county’s annual Adoption Day celebration in Freehold Nov. 14.
Photo courtesy Monmouth County
By Eileen Moon
FREEHOLD – For members of the Monmouth County court system, November is the most wonderful time of the year and it’s not because the holidays are just around the corner.
Instead, it’s because each November, Monmouth County joins courts around the nation in the celebration of National Adoption Day, when thousands of kids nationwide officially join their forever families.
On Thursday, Nov. 14, the Monmouth County courts finalized the adoptions of 24 children and four adults ranging in age from eight months to 30 years.
Photo courtesy Monmouth County
“I like the fact that the variety of adoptions held on Adoption Day this year show the many faces of adoption, which differ from what I think most people’s beliefs about adoptions are,” said Monmouth County Surrogate Rosemarie Peters, whose office oversees the adoption process for the county.
In some cases, the adoptions involve stepparents or other relatives seeking to formalize a relationship within an existing family.
But 17 of the families participating in last week’s adoption ceremonies were brought together as a result of a placement through the New Jersey Division of Child Protection and Permanency (DCPP, formerly known as DYFS), which administers the state’s foster care system.
While many potential adoptive parents may think it’s too expensive to adopt, DCPP makes it possible for families of modest means to do so by subsidizing the cost of adoptions through their agency. “I love to get the word out,” Peters said. “The number of children who need homes is staggering.”
While Thursday’s proceedings were serious and life-changing, the atmosphere was anything but solemn, Peters noted. “This is a ray of sunshine. It’s very festive.” At this annual event, some members of DCPP don colorful costumes and entertain the kids as they wait; there’s always a party, and often there are special guests, like Buster, the mascot for the New Jersey Blueclaws.
But the real stars of the show are the adoptive parents themselves, Peters said. “I really think these people are saints.”
Of the 24 children adopted last Thursday, four were adopted by single parent Sonya Middleton of Howell. Now 47, Middleton is a practice manager for a medical office and has a home-based business as a travel agent.
She began fostering children in need of a temporary home in 2010. “I’ve had quite a few kids come through my house,” she said. “The shortest time was seven months and the longest was for three years.”
It was hard to say goodbye when that child returned to his birth family, Middleton said.
Photo courtesy Monmouth County
In 2017, DCPP called to ask if she would take in two sisters; Middleton’s adult daughter Shaquasia, 28, urged her to say “yes.”
“You need to do this,” her daughter told her.
That’s when Yazzmine Lorraine, now 15, and Ahdina Marline, now 8, joined her family as foster kids. Eventually, two more of their siblings joined the family: Eric, now 11, and Makhi, now 3.
“When they brought the baby to me, he was a year-and-a-half old,” Middleton said.
In June 2018, DCPP let Middleton know that the children were eligible for adoption.
“It was a long process,” Middleton said.
Last week, all of that waiting paid off when the four siblings officially became Middletons. “I think that they were shocked,” she said. “The two older kids don’t show a lot of emotion.” That made it really special when her new son, Eric, told her, “I’m really happy.”
“That just melted my heart,” Middleton said.
The family will be celebrating the holidays at home this year, but Middleton is thinking about a trip to Disney World when summer comes. She’s taken the kids to Disney a few times already, driving down from their home in Howell.
“We did great together,” she said. “Disney is my happy place.”
Despite the challenges that come with raising four children, each with their own particular needs, Middleton advises anyone considering becoming a foster or adoptive parent to do it. “I would say just go for it. Honestly, it has been so rewarding. Sometimes, it’s not easy. Sometimes the kids are tough because of what they’ve been through. They go through a lot. But it’s just about getting them what they need and supporting them.
“They know I love them, and I know they love me.” And when the kids argue among themselves, she said, she reminds them that they’re together now, and that’s forever. “You’re here now and we’re stuck with each other,” she said with a laugh.
Tinton Falls resident Christin Saumure was in court Nov. 14 to finalize the adoption of her son Micah, now 4.
Saumure, 37, a social worker, enrolled as a foster care provider because she was aware that there are many children in New Jersey who need a temporary home. Her mother had been a foster care provider when she was growing up, Saumure said.
Micah was placed with her in 2016, when he was 17 months old. While Micah has some developmental challenges, as a social worker, she felt confident that she could provide him with the care he needed, particularly given the strong support she received from friends, family and the foster care community that offers many resources for foster parents.
When the possibility of adopting Micah became reality, Saumure gave it serious thought before filing for adoption. As a single parent, she would need to continue working full time, and it was important that she consider the resources she would rely on to make it work. Fortunately for her as well as Micah, she said, “Our support system is enormous.”
While Micah is a little too young to fully grasp the importance of Adoption Day at the courthouse, Saumure said, “He’s been calling me ‘mom’ for a real long time.”
Like Middleton, she’s a strong advocate for fostering and adopting. “This is an incredible gift that you give to a child,” she said. “It’s not an easy decision. I didn’t take it lightly. I had to consider what I needed to make sure that he would have everything he would ever need.”
But even those not able to take on that kind of commitment can help kids in need by volunteering in numerous organizations that serve them, including CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates), Make-A-Wish, Embrella Foundation and One Simple Wish, among others.
The rewards, she said, are beyond counting.
“A lot of people tell me that Micah is really lucky, but I really think we’re both lucky. It’s not an easy thing to do, but it’s an incredible thing to do.”
To learn more about becoming a foster parent, visit the State of New Jersey Department of Children and Families page at state.nj.us.
