By Peeka Tildesley, Politely Peeka Everyday Etiquette
Congratulations! Planning a wedding can be one of the best times of your life – and one of the most stressful as well. Make sure to get organized early and prepare a checklist so you can enjoy every step along the way. Below are some tips for engaged couples and guests to help navigate this special time.
• Planning – The wedding planning process can be stressful for families, wedding parties and vendors. At some point, tempers will to keep perspective. This is a joyful time, and it will all come together.
• RSVPs – RSVP on time! This applies to invitees for an engagement party, the shower, the rehearsal dinner and the wedding festivities. There is nothing worse than requiring the host to chase you down for a response. Respond by the date given – it’s as simple as that. If you aren’t sure if you can attend by the RSVP date, let the host know.
• Buying gifts – It is easiest to choose an item from their registry, but if you want to give something else you feel they will love, why not?
Cash is always a perfectly acceptable option. Regarding an amount to spend, ignore any rules of thumb. For example, you don’t have to “match the plate.” Spend It’s a good idea to send the gift before the wedding, so you don’t forget. However, you have up to one year to send a gift.
• Receiving gifts – Receiving a gift is great fun, enjoy it! But you must keep track of who gave what gift and write a thank-you note promptly.
• Thank-you notes – Always handwrite your thank-you notes and try to send them off within two weeks of receiving the gift. If it’s after the wedding, try to send your notes within six weeks. Conquer and divide the task with your partner. Each can write to the person he or she knows best. Of course, make your notes personal and try to include how you will use the gift. Be sure to thank family and friends who have traveled from afar. A big faux pas is the printed generic thank-you note where you just fill in the name; family and friends have spent time and money to purchase a lovely gift and it is your duty to thank them accordingly. Making the extra effort with your thank-you notes really makes a difference.
• Out-of-town guests – It’s a nice touch to leave a welcome note and a little treat in the hotel room of those guests traveling to your wedding. It shows you appreciate the effort they made.
• Reception etiquette – The newly married couple should make every effort to speak with all their guests, even feel special and let them know you appreciate their attendance. Guests should remember to thank the parents of both the bride and groom for their hospitality. It’s a kind gesture that will be appreciated.
• Dress code – Unless specifically noted, this is a time to dress up and look your best for the special day. Women should not wear white or beige. These colors are reserved for the bride. For black tie weddings, men who don’t own a tuxedo and are unable to rent one can wear a dark suit, white shirt and dark tie.
• Guests take a back seat – Wedding receptions are not the time to announce you are pregnant, propose to your partner or publicize any other big news in your life. This day is for the bride and groom.
Weddings are romantic, great fun and life-affirming. For brides, grooms and guests, using these simple tips can make everyone’s experience enjoyable.
For more everyday etiquette tips, visit politelypeeka.com.
The article originally appeared in the February 8 –14, 2024 print edition of The Two River Times.
